Camparison

Today I'm going to share with you why comparison is poison.

Comparison = "examining in order to note similarities or differences."

Not too bad of a thing, 'noting similarities or differences.' The poison comes when we wrongfully assign value to these similarities or differences. 

I have many dreams for what I want my life to look like, dreams of what I believe God has called me to live out... but I'm not actively pursing all of them. "Why not?" you may ask, it's because of comparison. 

You see, I'm a bit of a perfectionist procrastinator - I subconsciously believe that I should not complete a task until I can do so perfectly. This can lead to lots of stress and anxiety in both my personal and professional life. It's why I've struggled so badly to keep this blog up to date..all those missed months last year and this year... I have a post written for each one - but they're never quite perfect enough, so I delay posting them, and eventually forget them.

The other aspect of this comparison thing is because I want to do well at what the Lord has called me to do, I follow many others who are doing similar things to see how they are doing it. Which again, is not such a bad thing. The poison is that then I think that I don't need to do my thing, because they are already doing their thing, and they're doing it so well - I mean look how many followers they have... But that's not even the goal... in fact I'm really kinda scared of lots of people reading what I write or seeing what I post... The goal is to walk in obedience to Jesus and just need to do what the Lord has put on my heart. 

When I see what these other ladies post, I compare my thoughts and dreams and desires to the amazing things they feel called to do and share. This poison of comparison is that I think that they work is more important than mine that since they're doing their things so well, then I don't need to add my voice, I don't need to do my thing. Because what I have to say or share can't be *that* important...

can it?

But today I had coffee with two of the girls from my college group, they're both leaving this week to go to school out of state. We were reading a devotional together and one of the questions at the end was to ask each other what they saw of us from where they're at. 

And they both spoke truly humbling words to me. 

Servant's heart, respected, loved, leader, bold, willing - these were the words that brought tears to my eyes and spoke life to my soul. These are the things that God has been molding in me. These are the gifts I have to share with the world; with my small corner of the world at least. It doesn't matter if I'm not even a footnote in history,  I shouldn't be silent. These girls shared how the Lord has used me as an example in their lives. And I have to ask myself what the Lord asked me years ago... "Who's blessing am I stealing by not being obedient?" 

So, I will use my voice. I will walk in obedience. I am willing for God to use me. I'm willing to be transparent with you and share what the Lord is teaching me -  share where I've fallen down and how Jesus helps me back up. 

So this is me, sharing the things on my heart with you in my own little corner of the world. If you're reading this, then this is for you: What is on your heart that needs to be spoken? It could be an encouraging word, an apology, a second chance, a word of grace - these words could be for someone you know, or they could be for you. 

If God gave you something to say, don't be silent. Speak the words that are on your heart. It truly doesn't matter if people listen to you or not. Jeremiah the prophet spoke all the things God gave to him to speak, and yet he didn't see a single person listen and change... but he was faithful to God. After all, that's all that really matters anyway.

"It is required in stewards that one be found faithful." 1 Corinthians 4:2

All for now, 

Sarah Lou