The Beginning of Our Foster Care Journey
After carrying the desire to be a foster mom deep within my heart for over 12 years, my husband and I will be licensed to foster within a month! To say that I'm thrilled is an understatement. The year before I met my husband, I'd told the Lord that if I wasn't married by 30 I would begin the process to become a foster mom. At that point I'd watched a couple of my single female friends step into the role an I was confidant that if the Lord was calling me to this, then I too could do it as a single woman.
I guess that wasn't the Lord's plan for me walk because a few months later, maybe six months or so, I met my future husband. About a month into dating the topic of kids came up and I informed him that foster care has been on my heart for nearly a decade and I didn't think the desire would be going away any time soon, and if he wasn't down with that then our relationship might not work out. I didn't say it just like that, but that was the sentiment that was communicated. To my surprise and great joy, he too had considered foster care and had many friends who have walked that road before as well.
Last summer we got our house by the Lord's hand, including a word from our pastor about me being called to be a foster mom. You can read more about that here.
Right after we moved into our house last summer I started doing research about foster care in our city. But the more I looked into it and tried to talk to my husband about, the more unsettled I felt. He felt that the timing wasn't right, and I felt that he was not on board with me… finally I took this to the Lord in prayer. My thinking had been that since we needed to get our house and prepare to foster that must mean as soon as we are in the house we needed to foster.
As I prayed about it and asked a close friend to pray with me too, I felt a clear message from the Lord. "Wait on me." He gave me the picture of being carried along in His presence, perfectly at rest, yet accomplishing His heart's desire for me. So I set aside the desire again. Yielding it back to my Father's hands for safekeeping, knowing that He will give me the desires of my heart and fulfill them in his perfect timing.
In February of this year there was a situation that brought the conversation back into the forefront of our minds and we began to actively pray through expectations and timing. It was at that time that I felt the Lord narrow my focus from any child in need to specifically pre-teens and teenagers. They are hardest kids in care to place. After some prayer and conversations, my husband shared that he felt God had laid the same thing on his heart as well.
As a part of the application process we had to write a letter of intent, stating why we wanted to become foster parents. Over the course of a few conversations we drafted our letter. The themes that ran throughout that letter are detailed below.
We both feel called by God to love the youth in community in this way. Our desire is to provide a home that is safe, nurturing, and loving; a home that cultivates authenticity in relationship and exploration of dreams and aspirations. Our desire is that we instill in kids that there is always hope for healing. We will love them with the love that Jesus has loved us with - consistent, safe, giving, never demanding or unkind, always gracious. Love that never fails.
We know the journey ahead will bring challenges. We are fully prepared for difficulties. We know that we will get attached and inevitably get our hearts broken. But a broken heart shows a working heart. The number one reason most people give for why they won't foster is, "I would get too attached and be sad when they leave."
But that's actually the whole point.
To show these precious ones what healthy attachments look like. To show them that someone is in their corner. To show then what it looks like and feels like to be truly loved. To show them that they are worthy to receive authentic love and care.
Many have asked how they can help there's two main ways -
Number one: Pray for us. Please keep us in your prayers that we stay close to the Father and abide in His love so we are never short on love to pour out. Pray for us as we navigate all the things - there is a lot of paperwork for each placement, and every child will come with unique circumstances and needs - pray that we can love them well. As we continue down this road, there will not be much we can share publicly about our placements - including when we have them and when they leave us. But please know that we will be in constant need of your prayers.
Number two: practically we still need some items for the house to clear our home study - we have put together an Amazon wish list here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/MNNEHOYV04IA
Or since some have requested - you can send $$ over Venmo (@sarahlbernard) or Cashapp (@riegers) if you'd like.
Thank you for journeying with us in this space! We are grateful for you.
Love & Prayers,
Sarah
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