Eloping Amidst a Global Pandemic
March 26, 2021
I became engaged on February 9, 2020 - (check out that post here) - and immediately, we began planning a June 20th wedding ceremony. Many of you already know that we had to cancel that ceremony, and we eloped on March 26th and it was the best decision I've ever made in my whole life!
Wedding planning was in full swing! Mom and I talked nearly every day as we began nailing down the "big ticket" items, venue, photographer, food, & other things like that - while in the news they kept talking about this new virus. I kept my ears & eyes open and so far, it seemed like this might all blow over and we'd be fine for June. Well, as we all know now, this didn't happen. As things began to close down in other states, my fiancé and I began talking about eloping. I don't think either one of us were serious at first, but as more states shut down, we began to consider it more heavily.
On March 23rd we applied for our marriage license, to 'have on hand' in case we decided to elope. We had planned to pick it up the following week, but the evening of the 25th our governor announced our state was shutting down too. The country clerks office called us and said that we could come and pick up the license in the morning, because they'd be closing at week's end and weren't sure when they'd reopen.
The next morning I went and picked my fiancé up from work and we went down to the county clerk & recorder's office. As we arrived, another couple was leaving and they said, "It takes 20 minutes!!" After they left, I looked at my fiancé and said, "what do you think, you want to get married?" He said, "Yes!"
So that's what we did.
The other couple was right - it only took 20 minutes! We signed, and kissed, and prayed! & voilà! We were married! :)
Then I took him back to work and I went home to work as well.
Although that moment was slightly impulsive, it was definitely the right choice. What would have been our premarital counseling became marriage counseling, and I think I preferred that honestly. Instead of talking through hypothetical future situations, we talked through what was actually happening each week.
We still worked on planning the wedding ceremony. I was secretly hoping that we could still make it work for June 20th, but the closer we got to the date, I knew it wasn't going to happen. We made the decision to cancel the June ceremony the first of May. We talked about doing something in July, but that didn't work out either.
I think I cried more about my wedding than I ever thought I would. I know had more expectations about the ceremony than I ever thought I did.
Finally, we settled on the first weekend of September. My brother and his wife hosted us at their home and we had our ceremony in their backyard next to the lake.
A week and a half before we had our ceremony in September, my mentor and I were out to lunch and I was sharing with her the process I had gone through in planning my wedding during a pandemic; the constant changes and adjustments of expectations. I'd had to grapple with expectations and hopes for the day that I didn't realize I had. And as I shared with her, I realized that nearly everything that was originally planned for the wedding had to be changed except my person, and my dress.
The date, location, pastor, bridal party, guest list, menu, & timeframe - all of it had to be changed and adjusted - many people we had hoped would celebrate with us on that day couldn't make it. But my person and my dress, they were the same.
My person is an amazing man. He loves Jesus and loves me. It was such a blessing to be able to have him close to me as all the constant changes came down the line. He was my rock and consistently pointed me back to Jesus. He wasn't bothered by my tears when I became overwhelmed... (well, he was, but he didn't say so at the time). I'm not sure how hard it would have been to have waited the three extra months to be married, but I am convinced it would have been harder. Instead of waiting to marry until September, we'd been married nearly six months when we finally had our ceremony.
Many of those we asked to stand up with us in our wedding party were able to make it, and our pastor also made the trip to marry us. I'm so grateful for all who made the effort to come out to the ceremony, It was a small gathering, but we were able to livestream the ceremony as well for those who couldn't attend in person.
There were a few other miracles that worked out that week as well. And I'm so grateful for each one! :)
My sister, who was deployed, was able to be present for the ceremony (our grandmother had passed the week before and she was able to get emergency leave for her funeral, which was days before our ceremony). My mom found a matching dress for her to wear as one of my bridesmaids, and bought it even before we knew whether or not she would be in attendance. One of my other sisters wasn't able to pick up her dress before the seamstress closed for the weekend, and we weren't sure what to do. But we prayed and asked Jesus for a solution, and then thanked him for how He would provide. And He provided beautifully! - One of my other bridesmaids happened to have an old bridesmaids dress in one of my colors, and it fit my sister perfectly! And I know I already mentioned the weather, but dang! The day was absolutely gorgeous, the weather was perfect!
The ceremony itself went super well and the reception was so much fun!
It's true what they say, the day really does go by in a flash. But I have the memories and cherish them dearly.
Wedding planning is a lot of work in a regular world, but so much more difficult in a world in turmoil. I am so grateful for all who helped make our wedding day so special. For my mom, my bridesmaids, and my cousins - and all the others who helped move tables and chairs in between the ceremony & reception. Above all, I'm thankful to the Lord who walked with us in every step and made our paths straight. I also feel for all the other brides who adjusted their plans, cried, and followed through with it anyway, because even a pandemic can't stop love. To all the other 2020 brides, way to go - we're pretty amazing!
All for now,
Lou
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